Language of Smiles
by Elske
Summary: Even though Percy made difficult decisions about romance and life, he's still haunted by worries from his past he thought were long gone. History repeats itself; many problems are universal. Can he save his future? (Contains vague slashyness, of course) P


Author's notes:

This fic was written on an impulse after an attack by some particularly vicious plot-bunnies. They've also gifted me with the vision of an entire series – it will be a series of twenty-one linked vignettes, and entitled "T w e n t y -- O n e". So if you like this, look for the others – which will appear as soon as I've written them. (Yes, I'm feeling quite ambitious at the moment. hehe). And yes, this particular piece is a return to my normal Percy-centric fic. _Beaucoup _of thanks to Mere for grammar-help (as always!) and the rest of the gang at the Yahoo! Group broom_flies for being awesome people. :) *grins* Enjoy! ~Elske

"Language of Smiles"

by Elske

The first-year Gryffindors filed out of Professor Percy Weasley's class (International Magical Co-operation, a new addition to the Hogwarts curriculum), laughing and talking in small groups. They were excited for the upcoming feast, only the second Hogwarts feast they had attended. Rumour had it that this feast would be the most spectacular event of the year – the Anniversary feast that would mark the dozen years since Voldemort was finally defeated by three young wizards. Some were even saying that the three Heroes themselves would be guests at Hogwarts for the occasion. It was enough to make any young wizard giddy. 

But one girl hung back from the crowds, paused for a moment in front of the professor's desk, waiting for him to notice her. When he didn't even look up from the homework scrolls he was sorting, the girl cleared her throat softly and said "Professor?"

Percy looked up and flinched in spite of himself as he met the girl's eyes. He tried so hard to accept her, to love her, and yet somehow she continued to unnerve him. Every time he looked at her his heart started beating faster as a familiar nameless fear wrapped itself around him. He'd first discovered the fear back when he was a young man and dating Penelope Clearwater, his first (and last) girlfriend. They would sneak out of their dorms and sit and talk and sometimes even kiss in abandoned darkened classrooms. Sometimes they would plan out their futures in those dark nights, talk about growing up and having jobs, buying a great old Victorian house, having a fall wedding, having children. During these innocent conversations, the fear would take over and make Percy shiver despite having his girlfriend in his lap in a chair in front of a fireplace. He loved Penelope – she was the only person who truly listened to him. But as much as he tried to, he couldn't be in love with her; he couldn't face the thought of the rosy future they took turns painting with their words on quiet nights with anything other than the cold nameless dread.

Sometimes, unbidden, the fear would come back in the middle of the night. He would awaken from dreams where he was working in the Ministry of Magic and living in a beautiful Victorian house and being married to Penelope Clearwater and having three children and a dog in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. He would look all around the dark bedroom and try to determine which was the dream and which the reality. On good nights he could reach out and bring his lover into his arms and have substantial proof that the reality was sweater than the imaginings. On bad nights he only awoke alone in his bed at Hogwarts and it was hard to tell which was the dream and which the reality because at Hogwarts everyone slept alone.

And then there was this girl, this unnerving girl who seemed to have stepped directly out of the nightmares. She had long curly dark-red hair and wore tiny gold glasses; she walked with the same elegant stiffness that Percy had affected in his childhood and she smiled Penelope Clearwater's smile. That at least was sensible, since Penelope Clearwater was the girls mother, one of Percy's brothers her father. The resemblance of her to the children in the dreams was understandable, but amazing to Percy nonetheless. She was very like Percy had been at eleven, older than her apparent age, quiet, decorous to a fault. (This was also understandable since Penelope, her mother, had been much the same way.) Everyone asked if she were the Professor's daughter – or they merely assumed that she was one relation or another, with all of Percy's siblings, there were many Weasleys in the Wizarding world, after all. 

She unnerved him because she was the girl of his nightmares come to life. And there were other unnerving things about her, Percy thought. Her eyes were not the eyes of an eleven-year-old girl. They looked as though they had absorbed all the troubles of all the world for the past thousand years. They were her mother's eyes, dark gypsy eyes. Yes, Percy had always loved Penelope's eyes – but was disturbed by those of her daughter. And then there were the times when she would look at you and it was as though she'd read your mind. Percy could remember sitting in the Great Hall at dinner one night, anxiously waiting for the meal to be over so he could rush upstairs to check his mail. He was feeling lonely and homesick when his niece passed behind his chair and leaned in and whispered "I miss Uncle Neville too. He's been missing you too – he's written you a letter tonight" and went on with her life, returned to her meal as if nothing out-of-the-ordinary had happened. He had been thinking of his love, wondering if a letter from Neville had come that day – and his niece had somehow known it all. (There was, of course, an explanation for all of it. Percy Weasley always wore his emotions plainly on his face, although he wouldn't believe it if he was told, taking pride in his carefully-created aloof demeanor. Between that and the fact that Neville had also written his niece a letter that same day, it was no wonder that the girl had divined what Percy was thinking. But Percy would persist in thinking that something amazing and terrible had taken place that night.)

He tried to love her, tried so hard to love her – just as he had tried to fall in love with her mother, so many years ago. And it didn't work. She terrified him.

Percy managed a small smile for her, and with a look of nonchalance said "Evie? Can I help you?"

Evie smiled suddenly, in spite of herself. She tried so hard not to smile much around her Uncle Percy. Evie knew that he didn't like her. She could tell this – and that he was desperate for her never to find it out – by how nervous he seemed every time she talked to him. "Professor?" she said finally, "May I ask a favour?"

Fear flashed for a moment in Percy Weasley's eyes as he cleared his throat and looked up at Evie. "What is it?" he asked.

It was now or never. "I was wondering if I could…stay here for a bit?"

"Here?" Percy echoed, confused.

"In your classroom? I'll be good…I won't mess anything up or go through your papers or…you won't even know that I was here, I promise." The words just rushed out of her in a desperate flood that had nothing in common with the speech she drafted inside her head during her uncle's lecture. He had to let her, he just had to, Evie thought to herself. She had the night all planned out – she would sit at one of the desks and do her homework, and then when she finished that, she would sit in the quiet stillness and dream to herself in the dark. It was so hard to dream in the dormitory with seven other giggling girls; so hard to get anything at all done in a place like that. She missed the quiet. There was enough quiet at home; her mum understood the quiet and the darkness and needing a little time to oneself to dream.

Percy smiled a small uncertain smile as he groped for the right words. He didn't understand why she wanted to do this, but it wouldn't do to refuse her, would it? "I…I don't see why not, as long as you're back in your dormitory before anyone notices that you're missing. I don't want you to get into trouble."

She couldn't help it, Evie smiled brightly up at Percy, a huge smile of relief to make up for the few agonizing moments she spent thinking he was going to refuse. "Thank you, Uncle," she whispered, and then returned to the table she sat at in class, took out the assigned reading from Transfiguration, and began to read.

Percy frowned and began gathering up his things. He'd been planning on staying in his classroom for a time that night, perhaps writing a reply to the letter he'd received from his love the day before. But he couldn't do these things now, not with her around, taking his brain back to the nonsensical panic. Now…now he'd go back to his room and maybe finish those fifth-year essays before it was time for the feast…the feast! That was it. He cleared his throat a little nervously and said "Evie? Evie, if you stay here, you'll miss the feast."

The girl kept reading for a minute before turning the page, replacing the bookmark, and setting the text aside. Only then did she look up at Percy and softly said "Pardon?"

"The feast. Surely you remember the others talking about it. It's the Anniversary Feast tonight. The Heroes are going to be there." When anyone in the Wizarding world talked about The Heroes, they were only ever talking about Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger – the three young wizards who defeated Voldemort a dozen years ago. And every year The Heroes returned to Hogwarts for the Anniversary Feast.

"I wasn't planning on going to the feast," Evie said in a whisper-soft voice, carefully not looking at Percy.

"Not going? You'll get to see your father." Percy told her, frowning slightly. (Evie getting to see her father was an unusual and exciting event. Ron Weasley was an Auror, a wizard who did top-secret things and tried to seek out Dark Wizards. The team of Granger, Potter, and Weasley was the greatest in Wizarding history. Consequently, they were out working on Auror missions more often than they were ever home with their families.)

"I don't want to see him." Evie smiled a calm – but entirely false – smile up at Percy and reached for her Transfiguration book.

"You don't want to see him?" A fine line of confusion appeared between Percy's brows.

"No." Evie smiled again, a sad smile this time, as she tried to figure out how to explain it. When she was a little girl, she always cried every time her father went away. Her mum would cry for days and sit with reddened eyes and stare off into space and she wouldn't eat at all unless Aunt Ginny or Gramolly would make her. Aunt Ginny and Gramolly always came to stay with Penelope and Evie when Ron first went away. They were good company – Gramolly taught Evie to knit and Aunt Ginny told the best bedtime stories ever. Evie loved it when Aunt Ginny or Gramolly stayed at her house. But there was always something missing, something painful during those times. Everyone in the house was sad; Evie's mum wept over being left behind, Gramolly worried about her son when he went off and did dangerous things, Aunt Ginny worried about her brother and about Harry Potter, because she'd given her heart away to him, even if he didn't want it.

And yet…and yet Evie's father never seemed sad. Evie'd never seen him crying because he had to leave his family. She'd never seen him upset at all, come to think of it. (And perhaps it was false cheer – it must have been false cheer, for who would be happy to leave their families all the time?)

"He smiles too much," Evie said finally, with a small sad sigh. It wasn't quite right, it didn't explain everything…but it was as close as she thought she would come.

Percy's eyes widened as he looked down at Evie. He understood…he understood all too well. It was another unnerving display of great perception from the girl, he thought. Smiled too much indeed. "Yes, he does, doesn't he? I think I understand."

He returned to his desk, on an impulse began looking through the drawers for something. Yes, here it was. The Marauder's Map. He'd confiscated it from a student years ago, and found it terribly useful. It was easy to find what he was looking for – a secret passage to Hogsmeade. It was impossible to Apparate from Hogwarts' grounds, after all. Percy easily memorized the directions and then replaced the map in his desk.

Percy stood up and neatened the papers on his desk, put on his over-robe, stowed his wand neatly in his pocket. "Stay here as long as you like, Evie. Just please, don't get yourself in trouble – I'd hate to be responsible for that." He smiled an almost-honest smile at her. That was getting easier, somehow. "Lock the door when you leave, and have a good night."

"Thank you, Uncle Percy," Evie said, eyes back on her book. 

"You're welcome," Percy returned.

He was almost out the door when he heard Evie call after him "Say hello to Uncle Neville for me!"

She knew. She always knew.

It was against he rules, but Percy had to see Neville that night.

(Because whoever said 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' didn't know what they were talking about.)

Because sometimes Percy himself was guilty of smiling too much. 


End file.
